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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:53 pm 
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Jim lands back on friday night pissed, with a sheep under his arm. He climbs the stairs and throws open the bedroom door and stamps in, where his wife (raging) is waiting for him. Wobbling a bit, he announces 'This is the pig I have sex with when you're too tired!'.
The wife, never one to let anything pass; 'I think you'll find thats a sheep'.
Jim: 'I think you'll find, i was talking to the sheep...

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MANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 10:40 pm 
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:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao The sheep one is class :smt012

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 6:23 am 
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Location: Cyprus
:lmao :lmao :lmao :smt012

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:46 pm 
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baa baa :lmao

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 7:53 pm 
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Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal

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Mike Greaney.


MANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:08 pm 
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very funny :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :smt012

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:18 pm 
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:lmao :lmao Good one Mike :smt012

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I LOVE RUST ME
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:45 pm 
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Our Tax System Explained: Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'
'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too.
It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got' 'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'
'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

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MANY ARE CALLED BUT FEW ARE CHOSEN


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 6:19 pm 
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:lmao I like that :smt019

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 24, 2008 11:42 pm 
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A man was riding his Harley beside a Sydney beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.
The biker thought hard about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that all men and I could understand our wives. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?'

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WebSites www.covin.co.uk - - & - - www.vwkd.co.uk - - & - - www.flat4dubs.co.uk
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I LOVE RUST ME
Patent Pending "The Ultimate In Rust Remedy"


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 Post subject: re post
PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 11:12 am 
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re the tax man cometh , yep how true but i dont want to get into a riot over this, so am droping it right now, :smt009 :smt009 :smt013 :smt013

re the lord spoke
:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao haaa haaa i laugh and i laugh, its a good one matey, :lmao :lmao :lmao two or four lanes, :lmao :lmao :lmao tissssssss a cracker

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 3:36 pm 
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A man runs into a petshop ,puts a bomb on the counter and says everyone has one minute to get out.
A tortoise at the back shouts "you c**t!". :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

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