re gag of the month
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Author:  Covin [ Fri Apr 17, 2009 8:53 pm ]
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:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao That's a belter :smt012

Author:  dannycovin [ Fri Apr 17, 2009 10:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lmao :lmao :lmao :smt012

Author:  no covin yet [ Mon Apr 20, 2009 7:06 pm ]
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Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.
She was from Quality Street, he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum.

He asked her name, 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said. 'I'm the one with the nuts,' he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic.
It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs.

Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a magic moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight.

When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar, it felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing.. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel., Sadly 3 days later his Magnum lolly started to drip. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had Allsorts

Author:  Covin [ Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:53 pm ]
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That's got to be the best one to date Mike :lmao :lmao :lmao

Author:  dannycovin [ Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:24 pm ]
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Yes its a cracker that one :lmao

Author:  Mark Turner [ Tue Apr 21, 2009 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  re post

:smt040 :smt040 :smt040 crumbs :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :smt012

Author:  no covin yet [ Wed Apr 22, 2009 6:42 pm ]
Post subject: 

My wife rang me whilst I was driving
"Be careful love." She said
"There seems to be a maniac driver on the wrong side of the road, its on the news!"
"Just one maniac driver?" I replied
"There are fucking loads of them!"

Author:  Covin [ Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:14 pm ]
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:smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043 :smt043

Author:  no covin yet [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:21 pm ]
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A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:

Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple

Author:  Covin [ Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

:lmao :lmao :lmao :smt043 :smt043 :smt043

Only Mike can come out with jokes like this :smt012 Fantastic :lmao :smt019

Author:  john whittam [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:36 am ]
Post subject: 

:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

Author:  no covin yet [ Wed Aug 19, 2009 5:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Ferrari F1 Pit Crew Sacked

The Ferrari F1 team fired their entire pit crew yesterday. The announcement followed Ferrari's decision to take advantage of the British Government's 'Work for your Dole' scheme and employ some Liverpudlian youngsters.

The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Toxteth were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment whereas Ferrari's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of pounds worth of high tech equipment. It was thought to be an excellent, bold move by the Ferrari management team as most races are won and lost in the pits, giving Ferrari an advantage over every other team.

However, Ferrari got more than they bargained for! At the crew's first practice session, not only was the Scouse pit crew able to change all four wheels in under 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the car to the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some photos of Lewis Hamilton's bird in the shower!

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